My Fitness

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

mourn the life

Sometimes I weep over not being able to still do what I once did. Sometimes it's because of the money involved - pointe shoes are expensive. Sometimes it's the time involved - having a family restricts the amount of freedom I have. Sometimes it's my physical health - injury and lack of rehabilitation time means I am constantly struggling with fitness. It's frustrating. And I feel like I'm not allowed to be upset about my life. Someone else will come along and say, "at least you have..." So now I feel guilty and mournful. It's not a competition. We can both feel bad.

Thank you, John Piper, for giving me permission. He articulates it well. It's ok to cry. And like Matt Chandler says, "It's ok to not be ok. Just don't stay there."

Remember in Romans we are commanded to weep with those who weep. I like to remember this when my child is weeping over something I think is trivial. Scripture doesn't say to judge and see if the weeping is worth it. But rather, be sympathetic. With my child, I help him to move past it. With myself, I don't know how to move past it. There was so much left undone.

Christ tells me that I am blessed for my mourning. Perhaps that is because Christ also mourned. God weeps at the souls lost to evil having never lived to their full potential. There was so much left undone.

Let me have my time to mourn since my time to dance has come to an end.


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