My Fitness

Monday, July 11, 2016

come rest

This morning I awoke to the thought that I am doing enough as "just" a mother.

Saturday morning I met with my mentor (everyone should have a mentor). We discussed many things and at one point the ridiculous standards that the world places on people came up. A friend posted a video to Facebook about foot contouring in case your feet aren't shaped optimally you can use make-up to create the optical illusion of the best shaped foot. [I feel like I shouldn't have to explain how absolutely stupid that is, but just in case: that is absolutely stupid. If you have sandals or flip-flops on then that means you are either near water and thus make-up will wash off your feet or you are walking around and your feet will be getting dirty and thus the make-up will have little to no effect. And if you have closed shoes on, then no one will be able to see your feet.] The world will always tell you to be discontent. The world tells you that your feet aren't shaped correctly. The world tells you that as soon as you have obtained pretty that the definition of pretty has changed. Fashion trends change because of the discontentment of the world and their ever shifting eyes from what we have to the new. The world is searching for something to complete itself but refuses the one answer that will satisfy.

The world's goal post moves. The world cheats.

The only way to win is to not play.

Even the church can get caught-up in the game. I homeschool. I work. I clean the house and clothes and make food. I have my personal devotion time. I have a mother's church group. I have a more intense Bible study. I teach homeschool ballet. I'm also someone's wife. I have a couple of hobbies that I enjoy pursuing. My plate is full. My plate might actually be heaping. Felipe often comes along and removes bits that I've placed on my plate saying that I'm doing too much. I feel that if any part of my analogical plate is showing then I must fill it or be burying my talents (!!!) and thus not doing enough. I must help. I must do. I must do more. I'm sure it isn't enough. I must do more. And more.

But it's a lie!


Saturday evening I met with some gals for Miranda's birthday. She shared how she thought once that she had to fulfill all these missionary roles but finally God showed her otherwise, in a story that she tells much better than this. This thin spread has a lot to do with why I'm letting go of the DCHSA presidency, why we got rid of the chickens, why I'm not beating myself over not completing other gals' needs [why I unvolunteered for VBS]. Just because there is a need, doesn't mean I need to fill it. Just as Miranda shared about how she wasn't God's only tool for spreading the gospel, I have a small part in the body as well. I am not the entire body by myself.

I knew it all along but I didn't grasp the extent that I believed the lie and perhaps still believe the lie. until now. Where is this pressure coming from? Perhaps June Cleaver. Well, Hollywood and modern culture not exactly poor June. It isn't enough to be a stay-at-home mom. You must also have a career. If you don't have a career, you're a second-rate citizen. You aren't contributing! You're not contributing to society which a sin in the eyes of the world; and you aren't contributing monetarily to your family which makes you little more than a child and only a consumer which is a sin in the eyes of the church. You should at least volunteer somewhere. LIES!

This is probably why I have a broken foot right now. It hasn't properly healed since February. I. Need. Rest.

What is my calling? I am a wife. I am a mother. This is my calling and it will only be here for a little while. I don't have to be anything more than what I am. If you have a bigger calling, and if your plate is bigger than mine, then I need to be secure enough in Christ to not let that affect my role and my self-image. If you try to make me feel small, that's on you. Satan once tried to make Eve feel discontent and as if she wasn't doing enough to better herself too. Don't be like Eve. Don't be like Satan. Be like Jesus: he told Satan to be gone!

So my mantra this morning looks like this:
ah, to be so completely at peace

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