My Fitness

Friday, June 24, 2016

unashamed review and giveaway

To win a copy of Unashamed by Heather Nelson simply comment below and I will pick a comment at random on Wednesday, June 29.

When I first was given Unashamed to read and review I was reluctant because I didn't think it would be relevant to me. I was guessing that unashamed was about some gal who was raped and needed to figure out how to deal with that. Since that is not part of my past, I was going to skip this review. I read it anyway and there was a lot of helpful information. While other's sins was part of the book, more relevant items (like struggling with being enough for my kids) were also present. Most helpful: defining what shame is and how it's different than guilt.

Take a look at the table of contents:
She goes through several types of shame and how to deal with each one. I don't think she's introducing any new ideas, but I haven't seen them compiled in one book before now. 

One idea I had when I read this first passage was, "What if I'm the one oppressing myself with thoughts of shame and guilt that the Lord never intended for me to bear? What did Christ bear on the cross if I take that back on myself?" Ok, am I going to feel guilty abut feeling guilty? *nervous chuckle* No, rather it was freeing to be able to Let It Go (there's parallels, just read the book then the song lyrics). 

 This is the most helpful page in the book. I was berating myself about being enough for my kids the other day. I was crying and Holly came to me and asked why I was crying. I told her that I was afraid that I was a bad mommy. And in her sweet two-year old voice she said, "oh you are not a bad mommy. You a good mommy!" And she hugged my head and gave me kisses. And then I went to my son before he fell asleep and said, "Micah, did you know that I love you? I think you're awesome. I think you're so special. I'm so glad that you are here and that you are my son. I love seeing all the things you do and achieve." And he looked up at me with his beautiful face and smiled and reached up to give me a hug. And then he fell asleep. That has nothing to do with this page, but it made me feel better. This page is helpful when I'm confused by my children's misbehavior. It's hard to know how to correct when you've not had it modeled.

This hit too close to home for me. My father once told me I would grow up to be a "leech on society" when my sisters and I asked what he'd think we'd each be when we grew up. My older sister was going to be a lawyer or doctor. My younger sister was going to be a teacher or ballerina. And I would be a leech on society. I mean, what does that even mean? Imagine trying to figure that out as a 9 year old. "Wait. Leeches suck the life out of people. So I'm going to be a useless, life sucking person?" Requests for clarification were denied. But I was definitely embarrassed even just in front of my sisters. Similarly, I was embarrassed when he pinched my side a couple years later "to see how fat I was" even though that was in front of no one. Or when my mother asked my ballet teacher about my fat back that same week, "oh surely I had noticed." No, I hadn't. But that I was fat was a burden I'd carry for the rest of my adolescence and a chunk of my adulthood. Luckily, I don't struggle with anorexia and bulimia any more or the shame that came from these memories. And luckily my husband is a godly man who always uplifts and encourages me. If you carry similar shame, it's not yours. You might enjoy this book.

This definition of perfectionism I thought was useful and might help some perfectionists desire to read about its link to shame. You don't have to be ashamed about being imperfect because our perfection is found in Christ, not in doing things perfectly.

There's discussion questions at the end of each short chapter. Let me know if you'd like a copy!

"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win.  Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”
#un-ashamed #FlyBy


  1. Wow, that sounds like a really good book! Definitely agree about the parts talking about the lifelong effects the negative words from family (especially parents) can have.

    1. It really makes me pause when speaking to my kids. Death and life are in the power of the tongue!

  2. Wow. The effect of parents' words is so lasting.... I often think about whether words are speaking life to someone because they are so freaking potent.

    1. SO many things I've said in passing without thinking about it (both good and bad) have come back to me years later. When words are many, transgressions are not lacking, and even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise.

  3. I have a couple friends I who I could pass this on to.

  4. I only had three comments to choose from and #3 was the winner!