My Fitness

Saturday, September 5, 2015

adopting lily and rose

I don't know where to begin writing. Many have heard this story already. I just needed a place to collect all my thoughts. I'll update as there's news. In all statistical likelihood, I will never see these girls that my heart calls my daughters. Luckily, I serve a God who dwells outside of "all statistical likelihood". It will take an absolute divine miracle beyond comprehension for these girls to join us in America. 

It all started with a blogpost I read on The City from a missionary doctor to Bihar, India. He wrote that the girls were born healthy and fine but that the parents didn't want them:
While this level of depravity seems unthinkable and is completely beyond my understanding, it's no different than the millions of abortions of the Western World. If that had been an option to this couple, I'm sure that's what they would have chosen and we would never have heard their story. So while we can sit in our cultural blankets and judge this callous couple, we need to remember the grace of God that has shrouded our hearts and likely our eyes from such hatefulness. Killing one's offspring before or after birth is always wrong, all the time, no exception. Think of these girls the next time you make an exception.

A lot of what follows you may have already read if you are friends with me on Facebook. 

I reached out to the doctor and asked about adoption. I can't imagine how busy he is and how big an inconvenience it would be to try to help us any further. But my heart is broken. I gave up for about an hour the other day and immediately sent him another request for help. 

Initially he replied, "Thanks for asking about the triplets. The girls were all taken home by the family and we are praying that they will take care of them. Adoption is a very difficult process in India especially if the parents are non-Indian. Keep praying for the families here that they might come to know Jesus."

I replied in the usual "thanks anyway" but couldn't let it be "anyway". There's at least two people's lives on the line. Girls are thrown away all the time and perhaps this is just a story to open my eyes are get me pursuing the adoption of someone else, but I can't give up yet. So I replied again:

"I can't seem to let this be the end of trying. I fear those girls are already dead. If you happen to run into the family in a supernatural coincidence, perhaps you can let them know there's a family interested in adopting the babies. We would be able to compensate them financially for the care they've given. I know this is crazy but if this is of God then things will work out and if not then simply asking you will result in nothing. So I ask because I don't see a downside."

And that's true- what harm could possibly come from simply letting this doctor know that if by some miracle he happens to find the family and they do not want the girls still, that we are willing to take them? I don't see a downside. I'm sure the doctor thinks I'm crazy to think he will ever see them again and that he'd have time to do anything about it. I know it will be terribly inconvenient and awkward for him to ask anything on our behalf. 

Adoption from India of orphaned and abandoned children is arduous. I don't know that they even have the equivalent of open adoptions in India. Looking at the situation it seems impossible: first we have to find the girls, hope that they're even still living, ask the parents to give them to an American family, and cross our fingers that their government would even allow it. 

This is impossible.

Ideally, the parents would choose to see their children as a joy and a gift, a blessing from God. But what if Satan's hold on their hearts cannot be undone? Then obviously, the next best thing would be to place these girls in a loving family. 

I understand how the Indian government has set up their adoption rules in an effort to get Indian children adopted by Indian families, but it just isn't happening. That leaves a lot of international families giving up because the government seems to enjoy spending money on unwanted children rather than getting money from families who do want them. 

My greatest desire for this situation would be that the parents find redemption through Christ. Dear God please touch this couple and draw them to yourself. Redeem them and sanctify them. Have them stand against the crowd and set the trend for love in their community. 

If I can't have the parents as a brother and sister (as Christians call each other), then I want their children as my own and eventually my sisters. Heavenly Father, please bless the situation, find the girls, bring them home. 

I was chatting with a friend who knew I asked about the babies. I let her know that I already chose names for the girls, Lily and Rose. At first I looked at some Hindi names but after the first dozen "a" names I realized I had no idea which names were good and which were bad. That's when "Lily" and "Rose" popped in my head. And I thought, "why these names?" And immediately I remembered Song of Solomon where the beautiful bride calls herself "the rose of Sharon" and "lily of the valley". And I knew those names were perfect because then one day when the girls are grown they can return to Bihar, find their parents, and use their own names to share the gospel with them. (I realize that many people think Jesus is the lily and rose, but that analogy doesn't make any sense.)

We are trying to provide for the least of these. I hope I've inspired you to pursue a sacrificial love too. 

I actually gave a name to the third sister as well but if I were to actually take her home I would change it. The name that keeps popping into my head for her is Corolla. Corolla is not Biblical like Lily and Rose although it is floral; corolla is the petal formation of flowers. Maybe we can name her Sharon. I like that much better. 

This is my raw heart that I know people will be rude and judgmental toward me for desiring children in a difficult situation while laboring with the delivery of my own fourth child. 

I was in a hopeless and helpless situation myself. Before I was adopted I thought playing with excrement was fun. I would even paint myself in filth and pretend I looked better than the other orphans. We were all so blind and dumb. And then my Father found me and he cleaned me and he saved me. How can I do anything less for any situation I come across? 

Maybe these aren't my daughters. Maybe you are reading this story and you know of someone who is thinking the same horrible thoughts about her own child. Tell her to contact me. I don't judge because I cannot imagine that situation. My house is a safe place. You don't abandon your child here; you give and love your child by giving them a hope and a future and placing them in a loving home. Yes, I'm crazy. I'm overrun with crazy affection for a God who saved me no questions asked. I'm crazy to want to share that overpowering love with everyone. I share it with the lost babies and by loving the babies we show love to their mothers as well. I'm simply walking what I preach: love. 

I hope that Lily, Rose, and Sharon's mother has been overcome with love for her daughters. I hope she feels silly for ever wishing harm on them. I hope they all live happily ever after. I cannot imagine culturally thinking their children are a curse and I cannot imagine that cultural pressure surrounded by PPD. Dear God please protect that mother's heart and mind. Give her supernatural peace and serenity. Have her find Christ. Have her lead her girls to Christ and use this story to help spread the gospel in India. 

I've already had people approach me with financial support which is amazing. I cannot describe the amount of awe that I feel to see people's reactions. To see the love that surrounds these girls, fills my heart with even more crazy love. 

Give your babies an extra kiss.

This may be the end of our part of the story. But God has other babies that need to be adopted and I am willing should another baby be dropped in our laps.

1 comment:

  1. I love your heart, girl. You are an inspiration!


    - Becca