My Fitness

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

latest sermon from my church

This sermon was so moving and convicting that I'm going to need to listen to it again.

It starts off slow, but really hits home.

Just follow the link above.

my notes:
Why was it convicting? Because we don't have any money. Because we have no money I need to work. Because I work I have to ignore my kids. I neglect them. That means they aren't potty trained they aren't learning and the apartment is almost always a mess. I can't prepare proper meals. I can't prepare lesson plans. I can't play with the kids. I can't eat properly. I can't exercise. But if this is where God has us, then I can only complain to him that I don't want to be where he has me. I would have to admit that I'm angry at him for not fulfilling my desire to be a wife and mommy and instead making me work and somehow squeeze being a mommy in there and just completely shelve the idea of being a wife. Any dissatisfaction and bitterness I have must be directed at God for having me in a place where he desires me to be for my own good. I must admit that I am a child throwing a temper tantrum that daddy won't let me have my way.

So my life is not anywhere near where I envisioned it would be. If you think I'm complaining of working hard, you simply do not understand and you can keep your judgmental thoughts to yourself. I literally see my husband for about an hour a day. Some days much less.

We've had a lot of good things happen in the past four years. But mostly it's been a lot of work with no pay off.

I am so tired.

And life just keeps getting harder.

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