My Fitness

Friday, August 9, 2013

true and noble (life under control week3 day1)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8, ESV)

I find my self in increasing distress this past week. As if while I'm learning to take control of my life and give it to God, He's given me ample examples of how I am not doing that. While I know there are some people who know me will read this and use it as ammunition against me, I am in desperate need of God and He makes my heart contrite, filled with remorse, and desiring Him all the more. Evil people will continue to be evil, but those of us He has given New Life to will have our sins and faults revealed to us. At that time, we must submit to the Spirit and repent. I have spent the day wallowing in my filth and I have spent the evening showering in His grace. Today is the day that I was at my lowest and still Christ died for me. He saw today from the beginning of eternity and said, "Lauren's going to need me." And so He came for me. I cannot imagine how bad yesterday would have been if His grace had not been here. 

Yesterday I decided to start memorizing Philippians as a matter of personal discipline and to build up my spiritual armor. And here I see that the very verse I am looking forward to committing to memory is this weeks memory verse. It is rather appropriate that my mind has been raging against itself and here in my Bible study I find the antidote - think on these things. I wish I could just "snap out of it". I feel like I'm going through PPD while still 5 months pregnant. 

If I am to "make no provision for the flesh" (Romans 13:14) then part of the battle is to think on what is true and noble, for starters. When my mind thinks of the bad of the situation without acknowledging the good, and when my mind exaggerates the bad to be the worst and the good to not exist, I am not being truthful. In that moment it is hard to see truth. I am grateful to have a husband who is not afraid to show me the truth, even though I wish he found a kinder way of doing it that didn't make me feel even worse sometimes. And noble, or "honorable" in the ESV, means high esteem. I am adopted into the kingdom of God, a princess, and I should not be ashamed for Christ has covered me with his blood. His honor has been showered upon me. Though my sin be like scarlet, he has made them white as snow
I am forgiven. He has given me grace for today and bright hope for tomorrow. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

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