My Fitness

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

No Double Standard - a long rant on how awesome my husband is

Yesterday's Love Dare had three points that it ended with. The second one read, "No Double Standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers." Neither Felipe nor I have a problem with this. We actually treat each other much better than we treat anyone else...not that we treat others poorly, but we do give each other extra special care and attention. But it is a good reminder. I've seen countless couples shout and bicker at one another over petty things and say things that they wouldn't dream about saying to a stranger. So why is it that we tend to think that we can treat those we love most with the least amount of respect? I had one friend who said it was because we know that our loved ones will forgive us. Isn't that so sad? I don't think we realize what we're doing.

I love my husband so much. It makes me sad to remember those times when I put myself above him and did what I wanted without consideration to what he wanted. I could justify with petty talk of how he's done the same blah blah blah. But the truth is is that my sin is never justified by anyone else's behavior.

My husband is so wonderful. He always speaks to me in a civil manner. He's not petty nor does he bully. He doesn't belittle me or shout at me for anything (and especially not for things outside of my control). He looks for ways to comfort me. He speaks well of me and comes to my defense. He treats me humanely and with respect.

My husband is a man. Because he acts manly, he makes it easy for me to act femininely. Because he treats me with love and respect, he enables me to respond with love and respect. I don't have to justify his actions because his actions are innately just. I don't have a "but" before my "I love him". There is no string of sins and errors followed with a "but I just can't help loving him."

My husband is godly. Other men would do well to follow his example. He isn't perfect, but he is a good man and a good husband (and a good father!). He genuinely cares and loves people. He reads his Bible and follows what it says rather than blindly following what another man would say it says.
I'm privileged that many of my friends' husbands fall into similar descriptions. And if you're single, I would encourage you to find one of these types of men. Don't excuse his bad behavior. Don't ignore the warning signs. Don't marry a man that tries to make you cry. (yes, I do know women who have married men who try to make them cry so that "they will learn their lesson" - isn't that verbal abuse? Their husbands are jerks and bullies.)

The other evening we snuggled on the bed together as I ran my fingers through his hair and talked about the prospective future by this fireside:

It was very niiiiiice! Maybe you can fullscreen it and do the same! Unless you have a real fireplace...then you can sit by that one instead of this one.

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