My Boys are Best Friends!

Despite what some nay-sayers warned me about sibling rivalry, my boys love each other. Caleb is always trying to make Micah laugh, and Micah is always laughing at Caleb. They wrestle, they giggle, they play, they share. Caleb will show Micah some new food or toy and how it works. And when Micah sees what Caleb is doing he always wants to join in the fun. Whenever Micah cries, Caleb tries to console him. My boys are best friends!

 They both love that ridiculous Nick Jr. TV show, Yo Gabba Gabba. At times its the only thing that calms Micah down...especially in the car. Micah hates riding in the car. But Caleb never gets jealous that he can't watch too. I really appreciate that about Caleb.

 This is a one-man toy, but Caleb often insists that he be allowed to join in the fun as he squeezes behind Micah. Micah doesn't appreciate this.

 We got Caleb a matching Ikea chair so he can be like Dada! He was so excited when we set it up! He knew it was for him and he loves it! I love nurturing those instincts of his to emulate his father. Micah does not like the Bumbo but can't sit up on his own yet. Silly baby! Caleb was trying to walk when he was your age! lol!

 We thought we were the best parents in the world when we bought that one toy car you see in the mall that zooms around, spins, turns, and play the theme to Beverly Hills Cop...but then we realized that instead we had create a monster. Caleb loves it! He NEVER wants it to stop. We played with that dumb toy until past midnight the first night. Biggest. Mistake. Ever. We also bought the bubble blower. Not as big as a mistake. Still a mistake. Whenever the bubbles run out, the crying starts. Its easy enough to make some more, but you run out of it so quickly.

Anyway, its hard to think this face is a mistake...pure joy!

 I dressed the boys in matching PJs that Grannie Clare bought for them. She loves to buy them matching outfits. And I love letting her buy them matching outfits.

They play so nicely together!

 Caleb loves to give Micah kisses. And Micah giggles whenever Caleb gives them. We were not driving when this picture was taken. We stopped to tie down some furniture in the bed of the truck we were borrowing. And Caleb wanted to hug Micah! So sweet!



So, the lesson is to encourage brotherly love. Don't ever remind them that there was a time when one was jealous or mad or any other sin toward the other. Only remind them of the times when they were lovely to each other and that's what they'll remember and practice.

These boys are too precious to think that they were an accident. They are too wonderful to think that some monetary possession is better than their lives. These young people are better than any amount of money. My babies are worth more to me than years of solitude. I am so grateful to God that I did not rely on conventional wisdom of the world that says to use pills to keep these babies from me. I'm so grateful I didn't listen to conventional "christian" wisdom that says that planned parenthood that caters to your own desires and keep kids out is best. God pleads with us to choose life. I know that God created these babies. Because God is the Creator, I don't need pills or barriers. I am pro-life. I am pro-Caleb. I am pro-Micah.

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live...Deuteronomy 30:19
life is a blessing

Caleb Cutie

“You little stinker!” My husband’s voice raises in pitch on “little” and he has a big grin on his face. I’m not sure of this phrase’s exact origin, but it started VERY shortly after Caleb was born and we noticed his propensity for mischievousness. 

He once cried out as if in pain when he was six weeks old. He was sitting between Felipe and me on the bed. Felipe and I quickly looked toward him to help eliminate whatever this evil presence was that had descended upon our oldest child, our beloved only child. What made him cry out so sorrowfully and painfully? Did something fall on him? Was there a spider? We tried to figure it out. But just as quickly as we had turned our heads toward this...little stinker...he had change his expression 180 degrees to a quick little giggle and a huge grin on his face. He had tricked us. On purpose. Six weeks old. This was a foreshadowing of his next two years (and perhaps the rest of his life).

Caleb restocking at Starbucks

Caleb flirts with every pretty female he sees. This past week at Babies R Us while waiting in the queue, I could tell Caleb stopped listening to me. He was all smiles looking past me to some lady, who was quite pretty, in another line. 

Foot powered car at Costco

At Costco there was a display model of a child size car that is powered Flinstone’s style. Caleb decided that going backward was more fun than forward. His feet got stuck under the car and he ended up sitting on the floor. When we get over to him, he’s all smiles, stuck under the car. Well, we didn’t feel like taking his fun time away  so we push him around Costco in the car. I don’t know who had more fun, Caleb or Felipe. 

Putting Caleb to bed is always a fun chore...and here when I saw “fun” I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible. It is actually the most dreaded and disastrous event of my day. I hate it. Before Christmas, I would just say, “Caleb, its sleepy time.” And he would lay down next to me and Micah and go to sleep. But over the holidays various family members got it in their heads that they wanted to put Caleb to bed. So Caleb decided that he needed to be rocked and sang to in order to fall asleep. 

At first, I just gave up. “You Little Stinker! You don’t want to go to sleep? Fine. Sit there and cry. Its 2AM. I’m going to sleep.” Then I decided that that was really lazy of me. I loved Caleb too much to let him have his own way. No one enjoys discipline at the moments but later he will appreciate it. So now we’re back to our normal sleepy time routine. Thank God.

Caleb doesn’t have a security blanket. So to make up for that loss he has a different security item each day. Today it is a plastic cooking fork. Yesterday, it was a matchbox car. What is rather amusing is when I discover what item he decided to take to bed. A car. An emptied cup of water surrounded by a puddle. A child’s knife and fork. Three spoons. The vacuum hose attachments, all of them. All these items have found their way into our bed. That’s right OUR bed. I do not enjoy being woken up at 4am to water being spilled out a sippy cup down my back. 

[We share a bed initially out of necessity, then because we enjoyed it, and again out of necessity...you have no idea how poor we are! lol!]

Caleb often gives me the sweetest baby kisses. He’ll come up to me and sits in my lap. Then he’ll kiss my cheek, and my other cheek, then my forehead. And then he just sits there and enjoys me gushing over how cute and sweet and precious he is. And then that little stinker will give me BABY GERMS!! Which is a funny game we started where Caleb slobbers a kiss and the appropriate reaction is to say “ew gross!” or “yucky!” or “oh no! not baby germs!” If Caleb doesn’t give you sweet kisses, try asking for baby germs.

A couple of weeks ago I found my old rag doll, Amelia. I gave it to Caleb and he said, “Thank you” in the sweetest voice ever. He hugged and swayed with her and brought her all over the house. He then placed her nicely next to him while he built a lego tower. Of course, at the end of the building process he knocked the tower over with a scream. He turned, looked at Amelia, and knocked her over too with a scream! I had to laugh so hard. 

Other little stinker anecdotes include the time he ate a snail. Then there was the many times he has posed for photographs like he’s some sort of celebrity. There was the time he climbed out of his carseat and joined us up front like it was nothing...we laughed but boy was it scary. Then right now as I type this he’s putting Grannie Clare’s boots on her feet for her. That little stinker!

A Thousand Years? Really?

There's a popular Christian song with a verse that says, "When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the Son, we'll no less days to sing His praise then when we first began." I was singing this song to Caleb this week when the words very directly and pointedly prodded my heart. Ten thousand years of praising God.. Nothing but the same praising for all eternity. And I'm supposed to want to do this? And my answer back to myself was, "yes". I was happy that I wanted to do nothing but praise God for his goodness and mercy for all eternity. Nothing but praise for a God that deserves so much more.

Why not start now?

If my end goal is to be in heaven, praising God, and this is something that could be started now, then why not start it now? Why am I not living my life as a continuous praise? Why am I allowing these trivial earthly matters affect me when there's a much bigger picture? Eternity.

I need to be more patient with my children. When I am doing something and they want to snuggle, I want to snuggle with them. I want my children to lead me to worshiping God. When Caleb wants me to run in circles with him, I want to do that. If Micah wants me to play never-ending peek-a-boo, I want to do that. Mommies aren't allowed to get tired apparently. And if I work on being less selfish, then I won't get as tired when playing with the boys. I can spend my energy on them instead of whatever it was that seemed so important. Spending time with the boys is much more important than sorting laundry. And so much more un too. Why do I get impatient? It doesn't make sense.

I need to be more loving to my husband. In the car yesterday I told him how much I love and admire him. I told him how sorry I am that I don't always treat him like the wonderful person that he is. Within the hour I was back to being frustrated with him for some trivial action. Luckily after almost three short years of marriage we're learning good communication skills that lead to the issue being resolved immediately. But it really struck me how I could flop so easily from loving him the way I should to being bitter so quickly. This is sin in my life. Felipe is wonderful of helping me learn.

I am spending time with God every day. I quite accidentally wake up before everyone else. This gives me ample time to read my Bible. I don't do anything fancy. I don't spend an hour, or even half an hour...well, maybe half an hour. I just read a few verses, pray, and that's it. For the rest of the day, those few verses pop into my head and convict and encourage me. I used to think I had to be some super Christian, reading chapters a day. But I find that the little reading I do is adequate because it isn't a chore and it allows a large impact from a few rather than a small impact from many.

This is fun: I'm sitting here typing and Micah woke up. So now he's in my lap, being cute, just looking around the room. We're enjoying each other's presence without doing anything other than snuggling together. Sometimes that's all they want. Personally, I don't think you can ever give your child too many hugs. God could never give me too many hugs.

My Father God gives me hugs and I give my babies hugs. And do you know what?


I could do this for a thousand years and all the way into eternity.

Indulgences for My Indulgences

I indulge unholy behavior on a daily basis. Today's basis is plain self pity. I have an unholy cycle of sinning through self-pity which leads to the sin of over-eating which makes me fat which leads to me feeling sorry for myself. (Why do I eat when I feel bad? Luckily, I left my chocolate pie at someone else's house last night, so I've mostly just eaten animal crackers today).

...and I still feel so, I don't know, disappointed? Yes, I feel disappointed. Not only do I feel disappointed in that we are no longer moving as anticipated, but I am disappointed in God. I hope this a safe place for my confession. The actual depth of my thoughts was, "Why can't he just leave us alone?" Why does He keep teaching us and trying to get us to trust Him more? I know He will always provide for us and I know everything will turn out ok, but why must this process of finding a real job take so long?

I knew it was sinful and wrong the moment the thought finished. But there it lay. Thought-ed [that's how I said it in my head]. It could not be unthought. The true horror of this thought is that it revealed my innermost being. Vile and unholy. I found myself sympathizing with the Israelites as they left Egypt. I knew what they were feeling. They just wanted rest. They didn't want all this testing. An all-powerful God who is loving and gracious should be able to provide rest for His children. So why doesn't He? My accusations and cynicism grew. Now I can relate to Job. Poor man. Why did God treat such a loving and wonderful servant in such a way? Job never knew and I may never know. But our sin is the same. Surely God will have the same answer for me, then.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Job 38

It seems I am a sinner in need of grace. God says it is not my place, and not Job's place, to question God. Can we understand as He understands? God uses the foolish things of this world to baffle the wise (I Corinthians). If a wise person cannot understand, then I humbly submit that I do not have a chance. Although I wouldn't call myself a fool, only a fool would call himself (or herself) wise. All things are in His control. He uses bad situations and evil to bring about His good. Romans 8:28 tells us that God brings all things together for His good. And Hebrews assures us that even though we can't believe with our eyes that He is in control, He truly is.

My sin was indulged. I "fell" into it. But God's grace abounds. For Christ's sake, I will indulge in His gift of grace. For while my sin abounds, His grace abounds more so. I will take my indulgence of His grace. I will accept my failings and be covered in His blood that removes stains. For it is only the sons of God that go through testing and trials...And I find encouragement in the letter to the Hebrews, chapter 12:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resister to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."

My sin that I am asked to lay aside is my selfish desire for rest from the training of God. I am encouraged to continue to run the race of life and look to Jesus as an example. Jesus lead a life that he knew would end terribly so that he might draw his sons to himself and he finished well. So I can finish well too. His shame was greater than my shame. I am ashamed to not be able to have a job and afford to live on our own. But what is that compared to the shame Jesus endured to save my entitled being? So I will endure as well.

We run out of health insurance February 1st. My parents, with whom we now live, are moving. What if we get pregnant? We'll need a new car. Where will we live? How can we afford the necessities? Will we ever be able to afford any luxuries? When the cares of my heart are many, his consolations cheer my soul. I know that mine is not as sad as other's predicaments but I still cast these cares to the Lord and allow his word to sustain me. As I started the post out, I know that I am full of sin desiring to do good and failing. And now at the end of the post, I know that it will only be his grace to sustain me. Then perhaps he will tell me, too, that my faith has made me well.

And now, some words from Daily Light on the Daily Path:
Every Branch in me [Jesus] that does not bear fruit he [the Father] takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. (John 15:2)
For he [God] is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord (Malachi 3:2, 3)
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who had been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there that his father does not discipline? If you were left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate and not sons. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:8, 11-12)

Thank You Family!

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Yes! I finally got our Thank You notes out in the mail!

For Life

I have never met a person who was not pro-life. Even those who believe in women's rights would not harm a baby once he was born. We all believe in protecting life once it begins, but the debate is over when life begins.

CHristians do not unanimously agree on when life begins. Some Christians define the beginning of life at different stages. Some Christians even define life as beginning at birth, some with the first brain activity, and some when blood is produced. Most Christians that I know personally will at least preach, if not also practice, that life begins at conception. But what I don't understand is why so many Christians do not practice what they preach.

If its simple ignorance, then perhaps this will help educate: http://www.answersingenesis.org/media#/video/ondemand/fearfully

The videos basically show the biology behind conception and what it means to have "life begin at conception". For those of you who get queasy at the mention of sex, grow up, I mean, stop reading now. Within 24 hours of sperm entering a female, an entire new person could be growing if that sperm fertilized an egg. new DNA = new organism.

Once the sperm, with half a set of chromosomes, meets the egg, with another half, the chromosomes join together. The single cell has its own unique DNA, different from mother and father. At this moment, this single cell has personhood. This is the basis of the anti-abortion movement.

If you are a Christian who agrees with me, then perhaps you might be interested in learning about the birth control pill. Perhaps you roll your eyes, but bear with me and be educated. It is my deepest desire to see you glorify God.

I once had a friend on Yasmin. I was curious and looked up the drug in the Physicians Desk Reference. The page describes unemotionally the three mechanisms of contraception used with Yasmin. The first mechanism is to prevent ovulation. No ovulation can potentially lead to a decreased, if not completely eliminated, libido, as well as permanent damage to the release mechanism causing the mother to become infertile. In case an egg is dropped, the second mechanism will change the viscosity of the mucous so the sperm cannot get to the egg. But if an egg is released, and a sperm does make it to the egg, then we have conception which leads to the third mechanism.

The third mechanism is to strip the endometrium of all nutrients disallowing a zygote to implant. A zygote is the growing person. By blocking its only food source, the person starves to death and is passed through the mother's system often without her even knowing she was pregnant. Sometimes it is noticed by a slightly more bloody period. Ignorance is bliss! While aborting a baby so passively, most Christians callously murder their own children and then tell abortion doctors how evil they are. Both are unwanted pregnancies, and for a Christian I have to wonder why they don't want their pregnancies.

Here's a pdf from Randy Alcorn on Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?

Why do so many Christians fear having babies? Surely a Christan believes the Bible. And doesn't the Bible say that children are a blessing? A reward? Then, Christian, why do you not believe it? You say one thing but your actions say another. Christianity is not about actions. It is not about doing this or not doing that. But even as Christ is advocating for your soul, your fellow man judges you to see if you truly believe what you claim.

Do you fear having enough money? Look at my life as an example. We have not had enough money for over a year. We couldn't pay rent and sometimes we barely had enough for food. My husband could not provide for us. But were we supposed to be trusting Felipe to provide for us or trusting God to provide for us? Who is Jehovah-Jireh? The Lord will Provide. And he did. My parents let us move in with them. It was terribly embarrassing and humiliating. I guess God is showing me how much pride I have.

Maybe we should have waited to have children until we had enough money. But when I look at Caleb even on his bad days no amount of money is worth his life. But perhaps your children will not be as wonderful as mine? Or perhaps you fear that that is true? What blessings we all miss out on when we take matters into our own hands!

I do not need to pray if the timing is right. I do not need to worry if any children come too soon or if they are not coming soon enough because I trust God. I believe that God will not create a child that he does not want. And I live that belief out.

I do not fear the plan of God. I let him create what he chooses to create. Is my life more difficult sometimes because of that? Yes. I am not free to lie about and do what I please. I must be selfless. God is conforming me to the image of his son. And having these two boys is wonderful! I cannot imagine how life would be if I had chosen life.

Fellow Christian, choose life. When you choose the world's wisdom over God's wisdom, you wait until your own plan can succeed. You wait until you have all your ducks in a row. You wait and do what you please with the right house, job, and wealth. But these will all burn away. God wants you to place your treasure in heaven and look to him for your satisfaction. You have missed out on your own Caleb and Micah because you did not choose life.

I'm embarrassed that I was envious of you. I was obedient. I had my husband, my sons, and my God. And yet I wanted things that are meaningless...things that amount to nothing and will burn away.

I John 2:15-17

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life —is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

My Body, God's Temple

A friend recently asked a question on facebook wondering if she should get a nose ring. I think nose rings when done tastefully are beautiful.

distasteful and ugly vs elegant and beautiful:

vs

"It's my body. I can do what I want with it." I'm sure we've all had a friend with this mantra as their focal point during adolescence. Whether it's hair color, tattoos, or piercings it seems there alway a trend for kids to jump on to be different just like everyone else.

However, the Bible has a different opinion than most teenagers (I know! What a shocker!). The Bible specifically says to not get a tattoo. So to me, that means don't get a tattoo even if it's of Leviticus 19:28. But there's grace and I would not condemn someone with a tattoo, even though I think they are all ugly.

As for hair color, I'm a naturalist. I like grey hair. If someone wants to dye their hair pink, that's fine. It's fun. But if I am so conceited that I can't admit that my hair is not naturally strawberry blonde, then this actually seems like a more significant issue that needs prayer. [I once had my older sister say to me, "I'm so glad you have more white hair than I do." Now I have no idea what her motives were. Perhaps this is a new way to be encouraging or loving, but I just thought it was odd and part of her awkward personality. My younger sister has solid brown, no noticeable silver at all. Absolutely beautiful! But she still said to me that she likes my silver streaks because it reminds her of tinsel. Me too! And tinsel reminds me of Christmas and angels! But I digress...]

I don't know what kind of nose ring my friend wants to get. I had a roommate once who had a nose ring that made her look like a pig. But she thought she looked cool. One person wrote on my friend's facebook wall that she should not get one. But I considered Ezekiel 16 where God is describing how he came to Jerusalem and found her (figuratively) and dressed her. He put jewels on her including a ring for her nose. And he called her beautiful. If God calls it beautiful, it must be beautiful. Everything can be corrupted just as everything can be redeemed.

Her friend wrote again doubting that my quote was in the Bible. And that got me thinking how twisted American Evangelicals have gotten. How often we have put aside what the Bible actually says for the substitute of some politician or conservative ear-tickler. Consider what the Bible says, not the opinion of man. I wrote to her and told her that we need to fight the urge to try to fit Scripture into our opinions and instead simply believe what the Bible says.

Her reply (I'm editing what I believe to be typos): Hmmm...I think too many people try to take scripture and mold it to what they "think" it means without really diving into it. I myself need to "dive" into it. To each his own on tattoos, piercings, etc. It's your/their body, but His Temple. so one should treat it as such in whatever form it may be.

I've been thinking much on what she wrote. From her picture she looks young. From her typos, I'm guessing mid to late teenager. She's obviously a Christian and obviously wants to learn more. Kudos for that. But she still has me thinking. And thus this blog post came about.

The passage that speaks about our bodies being God's temple is I Corinthians 6:19. Paul is speaking about sexual immorality. Don't have sex with anyone you aren't married to because marriage symbolizes God's covenant with us. He doesn't want us whoring with the devil. Our bodies are his temple. This is a very specific scenario.

Tattoos, I've already addressed. Piercings, I've already addressed. Sexual immorality doesn't seem to fall into the same category though. Also, we're talking the big BC/AD change. Old Testament dispensation was a different grace than New Testament. Tattoos are an OT no-no. Piercings are an OT symbol of beauty. Sexual immorality is always bad. Our bodies being God's temple is a NT analogy to help the OT temple analogy make more sense (that would be an awesome Bible study and I plan on doing it soon).

So, in conclusion, no it isn't your body. Tattoos = no. Piercings = yes. And only have sex with your spouse because God.